thoughts..

Locked up in my sanity, i'm about to go insane.
How can a heart be happy and hurting at the same time?
When time should have healed the heart from being broken and killed the hurt it felt.
The way I feel I can't even explain, it's the best feeling in the world but I don't always let it be.
And I push away the goodness and bring upon badness.
And I push away people only to bring sadness.
I put up a guard which hides my true feelings.
I would call it a Habit cause If I could stop I would.
I wish I could just express myself freely all the time without the fear of being emotionally shut down and then starting my whole process of putting walls up until someone comes along and I trust them enough to put them back down.
It's an ongoing problem, I should just learn to trust people more but I can't and I blame my past for that. I know the future holds better days and i'm excited for them to arrive.
I hope everything starts falling into place sooner rather than later.
Although life confuses me to the point that I sit around for hours thinking about it, I guess it's time to not worry so much and run along with it.